Reflections

One of my favorite things to photograph is reflections. I love how the sky or clouds are reflected in the water. I love how a bird's reflection looks in the water or even a flower's reflection in a puddle after a spring rain. Reflections may be brief but are so important and can give us such joy.

I often do not take the time to reflect on my own life. Where does the time go? When I was in my youth, I wanted to be older. Now that I am older, I ask for time to slow down. There are so many things I have and want to do:  spend more time doing photography, painting, writing, time with my family and friends and continuing with my coaching and consulting practice. On the days that I spend with my grandson, I am fascinated by his pace. He is a very active two and a half year old and yet he is very inquisitive. When we walk together with the pups racing ahead, he pauses, looks to the ground at a little speck or rock, and says, "What just a minute, I need to look at this." Or as we walk, he will stop, listen to the sounds and ask, "What is that, Mema?" (his word for grammy).

To be able to pause is a luxury today. Most of us pause for vacations but to pause and reflect is a greater challenge. To take the time to just pause in our social media and busy lives can feel extravagant. I just resigned as Chair and member of a Board for an outstanding organization, the Good Shepherd Food Bank. Although this was a difficult decision, the time was right for me. The work will be continued by others who are very capable and who I respect.

I spent a lot of hours at the food bank. I find now I have gaps in time. The tendency is to fill the gap by joining another Board or by filling the time with "activities." I am not. In my coaching practice, I encourage people when they leave a company, sell their business or have a major change, to just pause for reflection.

Reflection can give us the time to savor the moments we had and look forward to what might come next. When was the last time you paused for reflection? What did you learn about yourself?

Perfect Day

The first song on Susan Boyle's Christmas CD, The Gift, is titled, Perfect Day. The words struck me this year as I listened to it over and over while driving in the past couple of weeks. The song describes sharing a day with someone and letting go of problems. The song is about being present and just enjoying the moment.

The chorus is simple and the words are repeated over and over. The simple words are "You're going to reap just what you sow." As I reflect on the last year the words are so true. This is a year I have been stuck. Not in all areas of my life but in certain areas. One of those areas is creating time to be creative. I need the creative process in my life. Being creative nourishes my soul.  

In 2011, many days I said, "I can't." I have had some physical challenges. I have been stuck in the "I can'ts." I can't because my body is not strong enough. I can't paint, write, walk, run or whatever. I can't.

 As I reflect on next year, I know I will reap what I sow in my relationships, my creative side, my work and my physical being. I will not stay in the "can't." I am sorry for those who look to my writings that I have been in stuck.

I want to thank my family for the "perfect days" we enjoyed.
I want to thank my friends for the "perfect days" we shared.
I want to thank my body for the "perfect days" I felt.
I want to thank the universe for the "perfect days" of wonderful work.

In the next few days, I will hold on to the perfect moments and be thankful. Happy Holidays to all and joy for the new year.

Reflecting on the Season of Hope

He leaned on the counter shaking his head and vigorously scratching out the name on the return address. I had just run into the post office for a quick drop off of one last holiday card and was ready to turn around just as quickly out the door. The man still standing at the counter caught my eye. He began mumbling something inaudible as he looked at the letter.

Looking at me, he said, "I don't know how to stop these."

I paused in my tracks. "What did you say?" I inquired.

"I get these letters and I wish they would stop."

"Could you contact them and ask the them to stop sending the letters to you?" I asked not knowing what he was talking about or who sent them.

"I wish I had never been in that hospital. They keep sending me these checks. I just saw a pastor and asked him to bless it. I am just trying to keep a roof over my head."

I didn't know how to respond. I slowed down my sense of urgency to run out the door and quietly said, "Maybe you can think of these as a gift that you need right now. A gift until you get back on your feet."

The man turned to me, reached out, gave me a hug and quietly said, "Thank you."


The traffic was bumper to bumper on the four lanes in the small community. Everyone was rushing to finish  their errands before the busy holidays. I was in the middle of the traffic rush and glancing ahead the light was green. Cars all around me were flowing at a speed that was probably faster than the posted speed limit. I was driving in the right lane of the two lane traffic on my side of the road. A car next to me suddenly opened their door and trash blew out. I thought, "How stupid to throw trash into the traffic right now."

The car door didn't close. A woman turned towards the door. I realized in an instance that she was going to jump. I looked at her. We locked eyes for just a moment. I screamed out through my closed vehicle, "Please don't. Don't jump." I knew she couldn't hear me but somehow we connected. She stared at me. I saw the tears streaming down her face. She turned and closed the car door.

I was shaking as I continued to drive. What just happened? I glanced in my rear view mirror. I could see the driver yelling at her. I could see her still crying.

As I continued driving and tried to calm my racing heart, I wondered what she was going through to make her want to take that action. If she had jumped, the chain reaction and the many lives she would have impacted in that split second would have been tragic. With the traffic moving so fast, she would have been critically hurt or killed. I would have slammed on my brakes (I am not sure why I didn't do this in the moment as it was) and other cars would have slammed into each other. Several people would have been hurt.

This woman, like the man earlier, was desperate. He wanted the checks to stop. She wanted to jump. I am relieved that she did not jump. I wish for her that in that moment she realized that she needed help but jumping was not the answer.

We may never know when we cross someone's path for a moment or a lifetime the true reason for our connection. We only know that we connected. I do know that in meeting even for a fleeting moment that there can be a connection and hope. We just need to take the time to slow down, be open, listen and be present.

I hope for you in 2011 that there will be hope for all that is possible. Happy New Year!

Rebuilding Ground Zero

November 10, 2001...my husband and I were in New York city visiting colleges with my youngest daughter. As we were walking on Columbia University's campus, we heard whispers and then people pausing and looking around as if searching for something. People started hearing about a plane that had crashed near New York city. This was just two months after 911. Fear clutched at my throat. We walked to the car, turned on the radio and listened for any news. There was a plane crash but it did not appear to be another attack from a terrorist group. Still, we questioned, "Should
we continue with the tours or try to head for home?"


We continued with the planned tours and then, later in the day we walked down to Ground Zero, the former site of the Twin Towers. This was just two months after the terrorist attack and there were barricades keeping much of the area from sight. The scent of burning smoke still reached our eyes and noses. People were sitting on the sidewalks with tears or in prayer. The silence was eerie. People walked and conversed in quiet whispers.

October 28, 2010...almost nine years after the bombing. I was attending a conference in New York and had some free time. Within walking distance was the site of Ground Zero. I felt compelled to revisit the site. As I came closer, a rush of feelings came back from my previous visit years Businesses appeared to be back to "business as usual." People were rushing along toward jobs or errands.

The site had changed. Cranes graced the sky demonstrating the rebuilding of the former disaster. The pictures on the barricades were gone, new barricades surrounding the area were present and life appeared to be normal. I took some new shots of what is now referred to as Ground Zero and wondered if the people who work and live here think much about what happened here in 2001.

October 29, 2010...waiting for my flight to be announced for boarding. The waiting area was fairly busy. TV monitors were announcing the national and local news. As I glanced up to the monitor, a news item caught my attention. Airports were being put on high alert. I had noticed
that there were many delays from Pennsylvania, and yet, I was not aware of any major storms affecting the airlines. Our boarding gate was changed and I brushed my questions aside about the high alert.

Upon landing, I learned that the alert was a terrorist threat only this time it was packages discovered on UPS flights. As the next few days went by, more details unfolded as to the intent of the packages and the harm that could have occurred.

My plane landed safely and I was thankful. We cannot live in fear. We need to go on with our lives and rebuild but we have changed and we cannot forget those whose lives were lost on September 11, 2001.

Trusting the Universe

We hear this over and over.Be intentional and the universe will provide. I continue to be amazed at how this holds true and when it has happened in my life. One of the times that was the most significant was after my husband, Bob, passed away. I worked very little from the time he was diagnosed with cancer until the time of his passing. We managed to get by from some deferred funds that we had. I had asked a friend to manage the calls for my business and I only accepted small projects.

After Bob's passing, I had no business. I was not sure what to do or how to restart the business as I had very little energy. I was immersed in grief. Then, I received a phone call from a client asking when and if I was planning on returning to work. He needed strategic planning for his organization. The call was a true "wake up call" to me to pick myself up and get moving. I began to accept some projects that got me back into the work mode and gave me a sense of moving forward.

I am once again reminded of how the universe provides by a recent incident. A colleague of mine and I have been developing a new business offering focusing on innovation. During the summer, I came across a conference on innovation. With the tight economy, I decided not to spend the money on the conference even though it was perfect for the work I am doing.

As I was browsing my LinkedIn news, there was a contest to enter to attend the conference that I had looked at in the summer. On a whim, I decided to enter my name. Within a week, I learned that I had won the contest! I just needed to make travel arrangements to New York city and find a place to stay. This was not a scam (although I thought it was at first).

Thank you, to the universe for once again letting me know that when we hold to our intentions and we are patient, the universe will open the door for us. Please share your stories with me of when the universe has opened the door for you.

Carrying the Weight of the World on Your Shoulders?

We are in "topsy turvy" times as I recently heard a colleague say. One minute the media reports we are headed for a double dip recession and the next we hear that the recession ended in June of 2009. If you are waiting for the numbers and economists to determine the direction, you may feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Yes, we can be on pause for awhile but each one of us has an opportunity to create something positive out of this time.

In meeting with colleagues and clients I am hearing comments

such as, "I am not sure I want to keep doing what I am doing. The business climate has changed." Or, "People are behaving and responding very different." This is not good or bad. It is just different. A need is being created to think in an innovative way about what we want for our future. We can be burdened and behave as if we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders or we can choose to find opportunities to move forward in a new and positive way.

So you say, easier said than done! Start small. Look for the things that you enjoy doing, the people you want to be with and where you can have a positive impact in the world. Choose to be positive! Start each day with taking a walk, meditating or spending a few moments about what you have in your life that brings you joy.

These are times that challenge our very being. Find joy in laughter, a baby's smile, enjoying a fall day, or volunteering to help a friend or family member. Let the weight of the world go.

Expect the Unexpected and Be Pleasantly Surprised!

Every evening my husband and I ask the same question to each other, "Do you think we will have a good sunset this evening?" This is our ritual throughout the year. We live on a lake in Maine looking west to the mountains. Every night that we are home we have the opportunity to expect the unexpected and be surprised. Often times, we may not think the sun will break through the clouds or the sky does not appear to offer the beauty of other nights, and then we are surprised to see pinks, purple and gray light up against a backdrop of blue.

In life, w have choices. We can expect the unexpected and be pleasantly surprised or we can assume that things will not turn out the way we hoped. I am privileged to meet and coach many people during a time of work and life transition. When I first meet a person in transition, he or she may often meet me at my doorstep discouraged, angry and unsure of what the future will bring. As we begin working together, he or she may begin to let go and slowly start allowing themselves to see the future possibilities. This does not happen overnight. The future begins to unfold in small steps. People open the door to conversation about the future. They begin to be surprised by other's generosity of listening, sharing stories and providing support and leads for new job options.

When we are not open to possibilities, than we may not experience the joy of expecting the unexpected. We may stay stuck. We may operate from a negative base of "things won't work out." We become impatient. We want things to happen under our terms and in our timeline. When we actively wait and begin to expect the unexpected, we can experience surprise and joy.

I learned to watch the sunsets and see the beauty unfold before my eyes. I cannot rush it or predict it. I need to be patient and allow myself to let go of my expectations. Then, I wait for the unexpected to appear and experience the joy of being surprised.